


Of Jobs and Jokes

by DeepDarkFandom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bad Puns, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Human Gabriel, M/M, Pre-Slash, Puns & Word Play, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:42:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7498113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepDarkFandom/pseuds/DeepDarkFandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel makes very bad puns and Sam is the only one who appreciates them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Jobs and Jokes

Gabriel was admiring the tall guy from the drains department. Not in a creepy way … well, maybe it was a little creepy. But he couldn’t help himself! The guy’s desk was right in the middle of his line of sight. Yep. That was the only reason. It was nothing to do with the fact that his eyes glowed and his smile was so impossibly bright and he just wanted to run his fingers through that long hair- Okay enough. He had barely even talked to the guy.  _ Yeah, doesn’t mean you can’t have a few private fantasies about Mr Tall and Cute, _ a voice whispered at the back of his head.

Interrupting his thoughts came an all-too-familiar screech. “Gabriel Novak!”

He groaned inwardly as he felt all eyes in the room magnetise on him and his confrontation with the beast. Gabriel looked reluctantly up at the large purple clad monstrosity that was his boss, Vira Afreet. Afreet was the worst thing about this job.  _ And that was saying something, _ Gabriel thought as looked around the drab, cramped office. Who even works for a pool maintenance company?

She threw words at him like bullets, “You left a banana peel on the kitchen bench yesterday. That is disgusting! And it’s gone mouldy!” She barged into his personal space and Gabriel glared up at her, looking defiantly into her beady eyes. It was like staring into the depths of hell.

He made a futile attempt to tame her, “I don’t like bananas, it must have been s- ”

She cut him off and hissed, “I know it was you. You’ve been trouble since day one.” She put more venom into her words than he had thought was possible for a non reptilian being. The injustice of this stung and abruptly, he’d had enough. He was sick of this place. People should only be punished if they deserved it.

Before he could stop himself he said snarkily, “Didn’t you find it appealing?” In the deathly silence that followed there was a quiet snort from the back of the room. Gabriel blinked at the sight of Tall And Cute looking at him and covering an amused grin with his hand. Slowly Gabriel felt his mouth turning up in what his brother calls his ‘shit-eating grin.’ Not only did he want revenge and had nothing left to lose, he’d got himself an audience and a lifetime of practice at making puns.

Afreet obviously hadn’t got the joke and was gearing up for another assault. Thinking strategy, he sat back and let her give him some ammo. Sure enough, she continued in a scandalised voice, “There were even  _ fruit flies  _ on it, and now you’re wasting my time!”

He shrugged. “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.” There were an increasing number of muffled chuckles from the back.

Gabriel knew from experience that Afreet was the kind of person who got angry when she didn’t understand things. She roared for “whoever is making that awful noise” to  _ "shut up _ before she fires them as well.” Tall and Cute stopped laughing, but he couldn’t suppress his smile. Gabriel was just getting started.

“Boss,” he began, standing up to be at eye level with her, “I have been sticking with this job because it’s the only one I’ve been able to keep.”

Afreet started talking furiously but he held up a finger to her clammy lips. Her eyes bulged but she didn’t make another sound. Probably speechless at his awesomeness.

He continued, “My first job was at an orange juice factory, but I got fired … couldn't concentrate.” Everyone was staring at him in horror, sure that he had a death wish. More laughter bubbled from the lips of his lone supporter.

“I also worked as a historian’s assistant. Man, that sucked. I’m telling you, there was no future in that job.” Tall and Cute was barely able to contain himself, snickering louder and eyes shining with mirth.

“When I finally came here, I told myself I would keep this job no matter what because I kinda need the money. But,” Gabriel sighed in mock sadness, “the work is just too draining.” That was the last straw. Tall and Cute cracked up, unable to contain his hilarity. A glance of the office showed Gabriel how everyone’s eyes flicked nervously between the three of them. Afreet’s flush contrasted horribly with her garish dress. She seemed unable to decide which of them to yell at first.

Gabriel stepped closer to her and declared, “There’s another reason I’m quitting. My boss is a great big bag of dicks.” Not inclined to wait for the inevitable explosion, he grabbed his bag and winked at Tall and Cute on his way out.

* * *

He sashayed away from the office, delighted that the piercing screams from inside was fading. As he was gleefully imagining the chaos he had caused, a voice called, “Hey wait!” He turned and was startled to see Tall and Cute running after him.

Gabriel looked up at him. And up and up. Jesus, he’d never actually seen him standing up. “Shouldn’t you be calming her down? Maybe hiding? Although I don’t know why you’d hide a face like that,” he flirted.

Tall and Cute’s eyes twinkled. “Actually, I got fired.”

Oh. Shit. Guilt surged up as he thought,  _ What if he needed that job? It’s kinda my fault he lost it. _ Seeing my face, he hurried to say, “Oh it’s fine. To be honest, I was this close to smashing my computer and walking out anyway. My name’s Sam, by the way.” He held out his hand and Gabriel took it without hesitation. His smile came easier now he knew he wasn’t being blamed for anything.

“I’m Gabriel.”

Somehow they talked for ages, despite only having two things in common: annoying brothers and hatred for their old job.

Gabriel asked him if he was thinking about new jobs.

Sounding a little wistful, Sam answered, “I don’t know. I planned to be a lawyer and went to law school, but life just got in the way and I never managed to get my full qualifications. I don’t know what I would be qualified to do and if I would enjoy it anyway.”

Gabriel tried to cheer him up. “You’ve got to be really smart to go to law school though. You’ll be able to get a job easy.” He was amazed by the difference a small infusion of hope made to Sam. His eyes brightened and he stood up a little straighter. He just looked … lighter.

Gabriel decided he hadn’t quite filled his quota for bad jokes and continued, “Anyway, the key to job searching is looking inside yourself. It's all about the inner view.” Sam laughed again. Gabriel found himself getting addicted alarmingly quickly to that laugh.

“So what are you going to do now? I mean, since you quit so spectacularly,” Sam asked with a grin.

“No idea,” Gabriel said happily. “I’ve dabbled, so I have experience with a bunch of things. I wanna work for myself now. Orders and paperwork aren’t really my thing.” A fantastic idea hit him. “I could be an entrepreneur, start my own business. What about it Sam? Reckon I could do stand up comedy?”

Sam laughed. “I don’t know if many people will appreciate it like I do.”

Gabriel nodded thoughtfully. A light bulb lit up above his head. “Hey, you don’t have a job either!”

“Nice of you to notice.” Sam said dryly.

“We could be partners and work together.”

Sam’s eyes lit up at the thought. “Any idea what we can do?” he asked.

“Oh, we’ll come up with something.”

“You don’t like planning ahead do you?”

“Nope. Where’s the fun in that?”


End file.
